Introduction:

Have you ever offered kindness and had it tossed back at you? Maybe you brought a meal and got a cold stare. Maybe you tried to reconcile, and people questioned your motives. Few things bruise the heart like having kindness treated with contempt.

David knows that feeling. In 2 Samuel 10 we see what happens when kindness is rejected. God’s king meets shame with dignity, God’s king calls God’s people to courage, and God Himself brings the victory.

Kindness Rejected

2 Samuel 10 opens with what seems like what should have been a simple act of kindness. King Nahash of the Ammonites died, and David, the king of Israel, responds with compassion. He says, “I will deal loyally with Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father dealt loyally with me” (2 Samuel 10:2). The Hebrew word behind “loyally” is “ḥesed” the same covenant “kindness” that colored David’s care for Mephibosheth in chapter 9. In other words, David’s grace toward an Israelite (Mephibosheth) now stretches outward toward a foreign kingdom.

Now David had every political reason to stay distant from this situation. After all, Nahash was once an enemy of Israel, a brutal opponent in Saul’s day. But David is hopeful that, while Saul and Nahash were enemies, perhaps David and Hanun, the new king, could be friends, and so he sends his servants to express sympathy, to offer peace in a time of grief. Sadly, kindness, even when it is genuine, is not always welcomed.

“When David’s servants came to the land of the Ammonites,” Scripture tells us, Hanun’s advisors spoke poison into his ears. They did not receive the ambassadors with dignity. They did not give David the benefit of the doubt. Instead, the princes of Ammon said, “Do you think, because David has sent comforters to you, that he is honoring your father? Has not David sent his servants to you to search the city and to spy it out and to overthrow it?” (v. 3). That last verb, “overthrow,” is the same loaded word used of God’s overthrow of Sodom. Paranoia and Suspicion takes root in the king’s heart. He decides to assume the worst motives in others and even acts of kindness become twisted in his mind. Hanun has not been king long enough to realize that you can’t believe everything someone whispers in your ear suspicion is not discernment.

As a result, the envoys of David are seized. Half of each man’s beard is shaved off, which was a deep cultural insult in ancient Israel, where a beard was not just facial hair but a mark of manhood and respect. Their garments are cut off at the hips, forcing them to walk back to Israel humiliated and defiled. Beyond crude mockery, this violates a widely accepted norm of the ancient world: royal envoys were to be protected. To shame them like this functioned as a declaration of war. These were royal representatives, ambassadors of peace, and they were treated like criminals and fools. The message was clear. But the insult was not really aimed at the messengers. It was aimed at David.

Now notice what David does in response. Verse 5 says, “When it was told David, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, ‘Remain at Jericho until your beards have grown and then return.’” He does not immediately plan how he is going to retaliate for this great indignity. No, his first instinct is to take care of his messengers who suffered needlessly. David gives them space to heal. He waits for their honor to be restored. There is a gentle strength in David’s response. He sees their pain, acknowledges their dignity, and gives them time to recover. That is the heart of a good shepherd. And that, church, is just a glimpse of how Christ deals with us.

Jesus said, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account” (Matthew 5:11). He knows what it means to have goodness rejected and love misunderstood. And when we are humiliated for doing right, when our efforts are mocked, when we show kindness and receive contempt in return, He does not leave us to face it alone. He comes to meet us. He restores our dignity. He gives us space to heal and strength to keep going.

This world may not understand Christian kindness. It may suspect our motives. It may mock our efforts to serve in Christ’s name. But we do not serve for the world’s approval. We serve because we follow a King who cares deeply for His servants, even when they are bruised and broken. Our King never forgets the loyalty of His servants. When kindness is rejected, He remembers our shame and suffering. And in time, He will make all things right.

The Courage to Stand

Now in verse 6, the Ammonites realize just how deep a line they have just crossed. The text tells us that the Ammonites saw they had become “a stench to David” (2 Samuel 10:6). David’s ambassadors have been publicly shamed. The Ammonites have come at the Lord’s anointed with baseless accusations, and they know that though the King is merciful, he will not allow his servants to suffer indignity forever. The Ammonites see two paths before them. They can choose to repent, to apologize to the king, to beg forgiveness for the way they demeaned and mistreated his messengers, or they can choose to double down on their insults and prepare for war. Sadly, the young king chooses the latter.

In anticipation of David’s retaliation, the Ammonites bribe the Aramean kingdoms to come to their aid. They bring in forces from Beth-rehob, Zobah, Maacah, and Tob. First Chronicles notes the massive silver outlay it took to hire them (1 Chr 19:6). He is preparing for a war and spending a fortune for a war that never needed to take place.

Notice how quickly all of this has snowballs out of control, all because Hanun listened to advisors bent on seeing enemies where there were none. When we don’t talk to one another, but rather talk about one another, when we assume we can read minds and hearts, and when we see enemies around every corner, it leads to so much useless conflict and heartache.

For the sake of time I will spare the details of the battles that followed, except that I want to draw your attention to the rallying cry of Joab, the leader of David’s army: “Be strong, and let us show ourselves courageous for our people and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to Him” (v. 12). Hear its rhythm: the call to strength, the reminder of who we serve, and then humble trust “the Lord will do what is good in his eyes.” That is good Christian courage. Joab is determined to do his best, to be faithful to his calling, and to trust God with the outcomes. I would encourage all of us to try to cultivate that heart. No matter what happens, do your best, be faithful, and trust God with the outcome.

And what happens? The Arameans, despite their superior numbers and superior strategy, lose heart. Almost supernaturally, the enemy grows afraid and begins to flee before Israel’s elite forces. When the Ammonites see their allies running, their own confidence crumbles. They retreat into the city, and Joab pulls his forces back, refusing to press the advantage at that time. This is a partial victory, but it is decisive. The coalition is broken. The momentum shifts. Israel has shown that courage and trust in God can stand against any alliance of enemies.

There is a lesson here for us, church. The Christian life is not lived in a vacuum. It is lived on a spiritual battlefield, surrounded by forces that often coordinate to oppose the truth, the church, and the people of God. Sometimes opposition is subtle. Other times it is direct and intimidating. But we are not called to panic. We are called to stand. Paul reminds us, “Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.” (Ephesians 6:10). The apostle does not simply say “be strong” but rather “be strong in the Lord.” He does not say to rely on your strength, but “in the strength of his might.” Our enemy plays dirty, he comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy, and though he is stronger than you and I, he pales in comparison to our Savior and Lord, who loves us and calls us His own.

God Brings Ultimate Victory

Now let’s return to our text. The enemy had fled, but sadly, the enemy was not finished. Though scattered by their first defeat, the Arameans were not humbled; they were enraged. Hadadezer called in fresh forces from beyond the Euphrates, and a larger army gathered with renewed determination to crush Israel (2 Samuel 10:15–16). But this time David himself led the response. He crossed the Jordan and met them at Helam.

The king is no longer sending representatives. This time the king himself is going to war. Scripture records a decisive victory: “David killed of the Syrians the men of seven hundred chariots and forty thousand horsemen, and wounded Shobach the commander of their army, so that he died there” (2 Samuel 10:18). The coalition’s confidence shattered, and the kings who served Hadadezer “made peace with Israel and became subject to them” (2 Samuel 10:19). The threat was neutralized. The rulers who tried to shame David’s servants now bow to David’s rule. In other words, the humiliation of God’s people does not have the final word. God does.

That pattern also points beyond David to the gospel. David offered kindness and it was rejected. He sent servants with peace and they were shamed. Yet the story did not end in disgrace. The king rose, defended his people, and brought victory. Likewise, Christ offers peace with God through His own sacrifice. Still, pride often takes the gracious offer of salvation and responds with rejection and hostility. When the enemy cannot reach Christ Himself, he often turns its hostility toward His people. Jesus prepared us for this: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (John 15:18, ESV).

Take heart. Our King is not passive. He sees every insult and knows every wound. The Son of David will come again as Savior and Judge. “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19, ESV). The grace that is freely extended today will not always be refused with impunity. To receive it is forgiveness. To reject it is to stand against the King.

Until that day, He does not step back. He steps in. He strengthens His church to endure with courage, and He turns even our present trials into instruments of future joy. “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37, ESV). That victory may not arrive the moment we want or in the form we expect, but the final word does not belong to the enemy or to the mocker. It belongs to God.

So do not lose heart. Perhaps your kindness was misunderstood. Perhaps your witness was rejected. Perhaps you feel weary from the fight. You are not forgotten. You are not alone. Your King is on the move. As David rose and led his people to a decisive peace, so Christ will bring every enemy under His feet, complete the work He began, and gather His people into a victory that will not fade.